And it burns, burns, burns…

Blog Category: Punch Monkey — Blogged by: daddy on July 18, 2008 at 1:50 pm

That ring of fire, that ring of fire.

Hindsight, as I have always said, is a veritable kick in the teeth.  Why open with such a peaceful, easy feelin’?  Because this is fair warning to anyone who is not me, Buzz or Empress at this given moment.  Last night, I got to baking bread.  Rather insignificant when I put it that way, right?  Well, what I left out was that I made habanero beer cheese bread last night.  Yeah, I can hear the wheels turning now.  Why would I make such a thing?  Well, let me state the reasons below:

  1. I love things that are spicy.  (Although, habs are not spicy…they are nuclear.)
  2. I can be rather foolish and blinded by male bravado and the ever-present need to eat things that are spicy and manly and make the hair on my chest grow even more. (The meeeeeses has lost count for the number of times that I have said, “I think I may have over done it.”)
  3. It is habanero beer cheese bread…who would not make that if they had a hab plant that was over loaded with peppers?

I am sure there are more reasons than that, but at this point, the only thing that matters is that I warned (albeit a wee too late) Buzz that he need not eat a lot of the bread because it will have rather drastic consequences associated with said action of eating.  I just got off the phone with him and he essentially said, “Gee, thanks for that.  I am already shitting fire, though.  Next time, perhaps you should warn me a bit earlier.”  I do not know if he will be a willing participant in my baking tests.

BTW, I am writing this will shitting pure fire out of my posterior.  I hope they sell o-ring replacements for a ‘77 Norwegian body like mine.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Somtimes you just could not put it any better

Blog Category: Punch Monkey — Blogged by: daddy on July 17, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Every now and again, while reading a book, I come across a quote/quip/paragraph/stanza/etc that really just knocks me off my feet in that, “you could not have hit the nail on the head any harder than that” kind of way.  I am reading “Dead Beat“, by Jim Butcher (brilliant fucking series, btw.  I implore you to read it.).  I started it sometime on Tuesday while on the train to Boston, but really bit into it last night on my train back to Philly.  It was approximately 11 pm and I was getting tired to the point that I was re-reading pages ten times over and just not getting anything.  I then came across the following paragraph and it was like getting hit with a bucket of cold water.  It was just a sentiment in which I truly believe with all of my being and something that I could not have iterated any better than that of Jim Butcher.

“Nearly everyone underestimates how powerful the touch of another person’s hand can be.  The need to be touched is something so primal, so fundamentally a part of our existence as human beings that its true impact upon us can be difficult to put into words.  That power doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with sex, either.  From the time that we are infants, we learn to associate the touch of a human hand with safety, with comfort, with love.”

That paragraph speaks volumes about that which I already know and believe.  I just know that I could not have ever put it so brilliantly or in such a concise manner.

What is a quote/paragraph/etc that made you sit up like you had been buggered by a cattle prod?
In other news, I have not had time to regale my Norsk updates for week 3 and now, week 4.  I shall try to get to them by the weekend, but I don’t know if that will happen.  Although, I am not sure that you lot care since you cannot understand what I am writing, anyway.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Uke To: Fremskritt

Blog Category: Punch Monkey — Blogged by: daddy on July 2, 2008 at 2:58 am

Kansje fremskritt er ikke den riktig ord. Jeg hvet ikke bare fordi jeg har ingen synonymordbok. Hvis du leser og forstår Norsk, bare forteller meg hvor jeg er feil.

Jeg gleder meg med hva min sønn har lært i bare en uke. Noe som var helt spesielt var når jeg sa, “vær så snill” og han gjørt den tegn med hand hanes. Han kan litt på tegnspråk. Det som var rart om det var at jeg har bukket ikke muy før (kansje fem tid). Dette fortelle meg at (og dette er ikky nye) han er helt flott og gjøre det bedre hver eneste dag. Jeg er en veldig glad far.

Denne uke er mer om farger, dyr, tall og mat. Jeg snakke til han neste hele tiden på Norsk. Jeg tenker at han liker det og kos seg med den språk. Jeg tenker at han kjenner det er vår egen språk. En dag, jeg håper det er alt vi bruker til å snakker.

Uke To:

Leketøy
Tingene inn i huset
Mer mat
Tall (En til Ti)
Aksjoner

Det er alt for nå. Jer er syk og begynner å føler som dritt. knasje. inmari knasje.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Uke En: Den Begynnelse

Blog Category: Becoming a Dad, Punch Monkey — Blogged by: daddy on June 23, 2008 at 12:41 am

Ja vel, det har blitt lange en bare denne uke. Det har blitt tre uker uten noe planlegge. Nå skal jeg begynne å lærer min søn (og min selv) et andre sprøk.  Norsk, til å bli presis.  Selvfølgelig, jeg kan på Norsk, men det har blitt mange år siden at jeg har brukt det.  Jeg kan leser, snakker (jeg skriver det nå…prøver), men min ordlist er ikke hva jeg kan beskrive, lange.  Nå er det mulig at jeg kan gjøre noe for min søn at kan gi han mer mulighetene i framtiden.  Beklager til denne folk som ikke forstår Norsk.

Uke En:

Farger
Mat
Nummer (En til Fem)

Popularity: 2% [?]

Operation “Un-Plug”

Blog Category: Addiction, Freedom, Reviews — Blogged by: daddy on May 20, 2008 at 5:08 pm

As I mentioned before, I have been feeling a need to un-plug from the intarwebs.  I feel that they are the equivalent of that which is provided by television: mindless crap that helps to pass the time.  As a result, I have been quite successful in weaning myself from the intarwebs.  It has occurred mainly due to boredom, but also because I have nothing to show for all of the time I have spent surfing digg or reddit.  What is so phenomenal about this transformation is that I have been reading more and I find that pleasing to my soul.  I love to read and simply did not make time for it in the past few years.  I found that, although I wanted to read, I was just lazy and quite complacent enough to just keep clicking links on the web that took me nowhere.  This year, along, I have read probably upwards of 10-15 books.  It may not seem like much, but that is far more than I could have hoped to have read in the last four years.  In fact, the last two books I read (Twilight and New Moon by Stephanie Myer) were the quickest reads that I have had in a while (the latter only taking two days).

In speaking about the latter two books, I must state my undying adoration of them.  Twilight is simply brilliant to me, whereas New Moon, although not as brilliant, still kept me enamored with the series.  If you have not read these, I simply implore you to do so.  Not a fan of vampire books?  I dare say these will surprise you.  Having always been a vampire fan, these stories illustrate my own pre-teen fantasies in a similar manner as laid out in the books.

In addition, I have been reading the Dresden series written by Jim Butcher.  Although they can be a bit repetitive in their explanation of Harry Dresden and his abilities/recent history (mainly to bring readers up to speed whom have not read any of the previous books), the story line is phenomenal and captivating.

Neil Gaiman’s book, “Neverwhere” has garnered my appreciation of his work and will lead to many more of his books to find their way onto my bookshelf (otherwise known as a stack that resides on and next to my night stand).

Ultimately, I am happy to be away from the internet after “working hours” and firmly lodging my nose in many a book.  From a literary stand point, this will be a very fruitful year and Operation “Un-Plug” will be hailed as a success.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Don’t Panic? I read "Hit…

Blog Category: Twit-Twat — Blogged by: daddy on May 5, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Don’t Panic? I read "Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" this weekend. Fun book. Want to read the rest.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Careful when upgrading to Hard…

Blog Category: Twit-Twat — Blogged by: daddy on April 25, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Careful when upgrading to Hardy Heron: VMWare server does not work on kernel 2.6.24. So much for virtualization, eh?

Popularity: unranked [?]

My Poor Little Henry

Blog Category: Anthropomorphizing, Damn the man, Freedom, Mindcoaster, Sigh, Thing you do out of love — Blogged by: daddy on April 24, 2008 at 7:44 pm

*sigh*

Last night I remarked to The Meeeeeeses about how Henry, our sweet little Leopard Gecko, was really getting fat. She said that she had noticed her belly getting really fat on Sunday and remarked on how she is getting worried about her. At that point, I went down into the basement where her tank is located, in an attempt to ascertain whether it was a matter of health or a matter of full. As soon as I saw her little, skinny tail, I knew that there was something wrong with her.

Normally, Leopard Geckos have rather fat tails. They store fat and water in them as reserves for hard times. In addition, her belly was not fat in so much as it was bloated. I picked her up for a deeper inspection and immediately thought that she just had to be impacted somehow. I do feed her a lot of crickets, but she has been around the block a few times and knows when to say when. That said, however, my worry for her quickly matched and then surpassed that of my wife.

With my assumed diagnosis, I quickly turned to the good old internet for assistance. One piece of advice was something that I had already done by placing Henry in the sink with enough warm water to keep her partially submerged. This normally helps with the pooping process, for those who do not have lizards or small children. I kept her in there, sincerely hoping that I would walk in and find a turd the size of my fist. Alas, such was not the case. The advice also mentioned to keep the baths going for a couple of days and to get the lizard to a vet if the issue persisted.

With little else to do and the last minutes of the day quickly dying out, I decided to take her back to her tank so that she could be comfortable and not freaked out by being in the sink the whole night. I emptied the tank of any existing substrate, just to make sure that if this were a case of blockage, that she would not exacerbate the problem. I then placed paper towels down and then added her regular accoutrements for ambiance. In addition, two water provisioning apparatus in so that she could somehow overcome her dehydration (indicated by the skinny tail). I turned on her night light and said a quick good night, hoping that the morning would be ripe with recent turds.

When I came down this morning, nary a turd was to be found. Her breathing had become a little more labored than it had from 6 hours before, but nothing that made me panic. I decided to call the vet and find out when I could get her in for some type of diagnosis. Lucky for us, they had an opening at 9:30. With Henry loaded into a small carrier, we departed for the vet and any news that they could provide.

Upon arrival, I should note that there was a man with his dog, waiting to see a vet. Being that I work from home these days with little “in-person” social interaction, I normally do what I can to avoid any small talk. The latter, combined with my worry for Henry, put me in a rather apprehensive mood. Said man immediately approached while asking me what type of animal I had and , “wow, do they look at lizards here? What is the problem?” etc, etc, etc. I do think he could see my loathe associated with these inquiries, but proceeded, nonetheless. I iterated some semblance of information that fit my current situation, all the while trying to give him the notion that he is encroaching on dangerous ground with me. Really, it was not his fault. He was a nice guy and genuinely interested in the situation. Keep this guy in mind for I will be speaking of him in a few paragraphs.

The vet assistant called Henry’s name (rather cute and helped to assuage my fears for a bit) and we proceeded into room two. There she took down details pertaining to Henry and her history, then retreated to get the vet. The vet arrived in short time and proceeded to check henry over, looking in her ears, her eyes and even shining a light into her abdomen to look for any visible problems. With no aforementioned problems, he asked if he could do an x-ray. Being that Henry is one of my children, I did not bar him from performing the test. In just five short minutes, he asked me to follow him to the x-ray room to go over the footage.

The x-ray was not anything uncommon, save for the fact that it was of Henry. He said that he could see a couple of grains of substrate, but nothing that would cause the bloating she has today. He then pointed at her abdomen and simply stated that it was all fluid. Said fluid could be from an infection of the liver, the kidney, some virus, etc. Ultimately, he could not say what was the cause, just what was there. And then he dropped it on me; geckos, of any variety, once they get to a stage where they have as much fluid accumulated as she does, will not last much longer in the living world. This was a bit hard for me to hear, as she has been with us for a long time and has been through a hell of a lot in her relatively short life (she would be 75-85 in people years right now, though). With that said, he dove right into the “options” there are for her.

The first option was to take fluid from her belly and test it. He said that this would tell them if there is an infection, but really not much other than that. He said it would be a short term fix as the fluid would eventually build back up. Being that I know she is going to only be here for a limited amount of time, I decided that doing anything that could cause her any pain at all, would simply be inane at this point.

The second option is antibiotics. I chose that option because he said it could help to prolong her life for possibly three more months. He could not say what the exact time frame would be, just that geckos do tend to go not long after this point. With that, he got the antibiotics and we gave her the first dose (although, she was quite reluctant to take it).

After shaking the vet’s hand and thanking him for his efforts, I took Henry, in her carrier, out to the reception area to settle the bill. Standing at the counter was the same man who had asked me so many questions upon my arrival. This time, he simply asked, “What was the diagnosis?”. “Terminal”, was my response. The man, although being of slight annoyance just thirty minutes earlier, actually looked visibly shaken by this response. He was intensely apologetic and had only the sincerest intentions of relaying how unfortunate it was to hear of her sentence. I thanked him, paid my bill and quickly left.

It is 3:34 right now. She is laying, sleeping in her tank that has been relocated to my office. I look over at her constantly, wondering how much longer she will be here and making sure she is still breathing. I am overly sensitive when it comes to death. It hits me like a stack of bricks and leaves a hole deep inside me. I had no idea that she would only live for 8 to 10 years. Given the latter, though, she has lived a wonderful life and has given us a lot of joy. She is still here and I intend fully to spend quality time with her (and my other lizards who have been a little ignored after having our son). I just wanted to write about today and immortalize her existence in my own words.

Love you, little girl.

Popularity: 6% [?]

My poor little leo gecko is im…

Blog Category: Twit-Twat — Blogged by: daddy on April 24, 2008 at 3:10 am

My poor little leo gecko is impacted. I am a wee worried about what will happen with her. Touch and go for the next little while.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Hardy Heron arrives tomorrow. …

Blog Category: Twit-Twat — Blogged by: daddy on April 23, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Hardy Heron arrives tomorrow. Be sure to run the update at the same time as everyone else so that the servers die. :)

Popularity: 5% [?]

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