*sigh*
Last night I remarked to The Meeeeeeses about how Henry, our sweet little Leopard Gecko, was really getting fat. She said that she had noticed her belly getting really fat on Sunday and remarked on how she is getting worried about her. At that point, I went down into the basement where her tank is located, in an attempt to ascertain whether it was a matter of health or a matter of full. As soon as I saw her little, skinny tail, I knew that there was something wrong with her.
Normally, Leopard Geckos have rather fat tails. They store fat and water in them as reserves for hard times. In addition, her belly was not fat in so much as it was bloated. I picked her up for a deeper inspection and immediately thought that she just had to be impacted somehow. I do feed her a lot of crickets, but she has been around the block a few times and knows when to say when. That said, however, my worry for her quickly matched and then surpassed that of my wife.
With my assumed diagnosis, I quickly turned to the good old internet for assistance. One piece of advice was something that I had already done by placing Henry in the sink with enough warm water to keep her partially submerged. This normally helps with the pooping process, for those who do not have lizards or small children. I kept her in there, sincerely hoping that I would walk in and find a turd the size of my fist. Alas, such was not the case. The advice also mentioned to keep the baths going for a couple of days and to get the lizard to a vet if the issue persisted.
With little else to do and the last minutes of the day quickly dying out, I decided to take her back to her tank so that she could be comfortable and not freaked out by being in the sink the whole night. I emptied the tank of any existing substrate, just to make sure that if this were a case of blockage, that she would not exacerbate the problem. I then placed paper towels down and then added her regular accoutrements for ambiance. In addition, two water provisioning apparatus in so that she could somehow overcome her dehydration (indicated by the skinny tail). I turned on her night light and said a quick good night, hoping that the morning would be ripe with recent turds.
When I came down this morning, nary a turd was to be found. Her breathing had become a little more labored than it had from 6 hours before, but nothing that made me panic. I decided to call the vet and find out when I could get her in for some type of diagnosis. Lucky for us, they had an opening at 9:30. With Henry loaded into a small carrier, we departed for the vet and any news that they could provide.
Upon arrival, I should note that there was a man with his dog, waiting to see a vet. Being that I work from home these days with little “in-person” social interaction, I normally do what I can to avoid any small talk. The latter, combined with my worry for Henry, put me in a rather apprehensive mood. Said man immediately approached while asking me what type of animal I had and , “wow, do they look at lizards here? What is the problem?” etc, etc, etc. I do think he could see my loathe associated with these inquiries, but proceeded, nonetheless. I iterated some semblance of information that fit my current situation, all the while trying to give him the notion that he is encroaching on dangerous ground with me. Really, it was not his fault. He was a nice guy and genuinely interested in the situation. Keep this guy in mind for I will be speaking of him in a few paragraphs.
The vet assistant called Henry’s name (rather cute and helped to assuage my fears for a bit) and we proceeded into room two. There she took down details pertaining to Henry and her history, then retreated to get the vet. The vet arrived in short time and proceeded to check henry over, looking in her ears, her eyes and even shining a light into her abdomen to look for any visible problems. With no aforementioned problems, he asked if he could do an x-ray. Being that Henry is one of my children, I did not bar him from performing the test. In just five short minutes, he asked me to follow him to the x-ray room to go over the footage.
The x-ray was not anything uncommon, save for the fact that it was of Henry. He said that he could see a couple of grains of substrate, but nothing that would cause the bloating she has today. He then pointed at her abdomen and simply stated that it was all fluid. Said fluid could be from an infection of the liver, the kidney, some virus, etc. Ultimately, he could not say what was the cause, just what was there. And then he dropped it on me; geckos, of any variety, once they get to a stage where they have as much fluid accumulated as she does, will not last much longer in the living world. This was a bit hard for me to hear, as she has been with us for a long time and has been through a hell of a lot in her relatively short life (she would be 75-85 in people years right now, though). With that said, he dove right into the “options” there are for her.
The first option was to take fluid from her belly and test it. He said that this would tell them if there is an infection, but really not much other than that. He said it would be a short term fix as the fluid would eventually build back up. Being that I know she is going to only be here for a limited amount of time, I decided that doing anything that could cause her any pain at all, would simply be inane at this point.
The second option is antibiotics. I chose that option because he said it could help to prolong her life for possibly three more months. He could not say what the exact time frame would be, just that geckos do tend to go not long after this point. With that, he got the antibiotics and we gave her the first dose (although, she was quite reluctant to take it).
After shaking the vet’s hand and thanking him for his efforts, I took Henry, in her carrier, out to the reception area to settle the bill. Standing at the counter was the same man who had asked me so many questions upon my arrival. This time, he simply asked, “What was the diagnosis?”. “Terminal”, was my response. The man, although being of slight annoyance just thirty minutes earlier, actually looked visibly shaken by this response. He was intensely apologetic and had only the sincerest intentions of relaying how unfortunate it was to hear of her sentence. I thanked him, paid my bill and quickly left.
It is 3:34 right now. She is laying, sleeping in her tank that has been relocated to my office. I look over at her constantly, wondering how much longer she will be here and making sure she is still breathing. I am overly sensitive when it comes to death. It hits me like a stack of bricks and leaves a hole deep inside me. I had no idea that she would only live for 8 to 10 years. Given the latter, though, she has lived a wonderful life and has given us a lot of joy. She is still here and I intend fully to spend quality time with her (and my other lizards who have been a little ignored after having our son). I just wanted to write about today and immortalize her existence in my own words.
Love you, little girl.
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